Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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