We're like a lot better than the average bears
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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