I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
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