awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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