Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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