Duck Duck Cougar?
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
