I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize