I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
