i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize