some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
