dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
