my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
