That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
