I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
