I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
