girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
