he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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