definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
