This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Randomize
