if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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