Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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