Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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