my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize