Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize