HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
