I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
