Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Randomize