We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Randomize
