I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
