We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Randomize
