when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
