if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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