Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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