I wanna passion pit in your ass
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
