i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
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