Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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