umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
