Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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