when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize