Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
