...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
