Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
