Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Randomize
