At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
People in love make me want to vomit
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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