never play flip cup with pint glasses
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
