Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
