On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize