That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
