omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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