dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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