i think my tv is drunk
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
