Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
