You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
