I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
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