My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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