just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
