I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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