if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I need water and some morals
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
