Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
