Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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