And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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