well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
