We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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