Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Dick very happy bro
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize
