Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
