There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
