I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
