Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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