Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
