I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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