just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
