shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
