We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
